Learning to Love Myself



Like pretty much every person on earth, I frequently find it hard *cough* impossible to love myself. Whether it’s looking in the mirror and wondering, “Wow I look terrible; do I always look like this?” or sitting in class learning a difficult lesson and internally thinking, “This is it. I’m dumb. I’ve officially failed at life.” For a very long time, I would try and try time and again to stop thinking these things, and usually the thoughts improve to a point, but I can never seem to fully get rid of the negativity and self-hatred. The fact that I will probably forever struggle with my perception of my looks and intelligence was/is extremely frustrating, and it can very well send me into a spiral of depression if I think about it too much.

News Flash: Loving myself is hard. Society tells us that pretty much only two things about ourselves matter: our intelligence and our looks, yet it also tells us to love ourselves the way we are made. Talk about confusing! But what I think I’ve been learning more and more is that loving myself is so much more than just believing that I’m pretty or intelligent.

When I think of a person I love, I don’t think, “Oh my gosh, I love this person so much! They’re a genius and might as well be a model; they’re just the best!” No! I think about their patience, selflessness, trustworthiness, their ability to listen, how much fun I have around them, the list goes on and on, yet not one of the things I think about is if he or she is smart or good looking. If I value other people for so much more than surface-y traits like being intelligent or attractive, why do I evaluate myself on only those two things?

Even God tells us that our looks and intelligence don’t matter!
“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
-Matthew 5:3-10

Where does it say “Blessed are the smart, for they will win at life” or “Blessed are the good looking, for they will be loved”? Nowhere! God cares about my heart, my character, my faith, my actions, not things that are fleeting and can’t help being.

Like I said before, loving myself is hard. It’s a constant struggle, but putting my value in things that aren’t up for debate makes it whole lot easier.

With love,


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